So for those of you who were at Spencer Park on Sunday for our BBQ Beach Bonanza, it was a fun time. Good food, a bit of clumsy cricket, and worship at the beach interspersed with cold plunges in the surf. Gooood.
We had two people from the Living Room share their testimony. Thank you Bismarck and Esther for your courage and your openness! It is always special to see that the living Christ is at work in our community and it was great to support you in your faith journey on Sunday.
There were some really beautiful moments on Sunday. The vulnerability of testimony-sharing, the sand beneath the feet, the open heavens above, breaking bread together.
However, despite some really beautiful moments on Sunday, I left feeling a bit low and disappointed. This isn’t to take away from what the worship was (and what worship is). I have no doubt God was working among us…
No, I left disappointed around some of my planning. There seemed to be a disconnect in my head between my ideal and what actually happened. The beach was a hard environment to create intimacy, and the sound just dissipates. It got a bit cold. And as people’s eyes wandered, I tried to take control of the situation and felt I dominated. I felt bad that I had put our testimony-sharers in such a difficult environment to share intimately.
I’m not looking for a sympathy vote by the way!
Someone shared this article with me today. Darryl Tempero argues that part of trying new things is the risk of failing. He says this:
If you have an idea, try it and see what happens. We need to have a willingness to try and fail – it’s how we learn in the rest of life – walking, speaking, playing music and so on, so let’s include ways of being church.
I’m not saying worship at the beach was a failure by any stretch!
Maybe things didn’t go quite as planned for me on Sunday, but that’s OK. It’s a sign that as a community we’re risking new things, pushing the boundaries of what we assume church is, or how church should be done.
This is my testimony. I had to swallow my own words that sharing testimony isn’t about the sum of our successes or failures — but the one we point to in the midst of our failure. The one we point to is Jesus Christ who loves us and calls us on even when we feel incapable or unworthy.
And this Jesus that we follow…his way is the way of failure! (at least in the world’s eyes) This Sunday is Palm Sunday on which Jesus triumphantly entered Jerusalem. But not on a big war-horse with fanfare and canons — no, he entered on a donkey, ushered in by the poor and the misfits. This Jesus we follow is the one who suffered, who went to the cross, who didn’t fight back but died.
And yet out of that failure comes life in abundance.
What if my disappointments on Sunday are actually the godly moments instead of being moments where I think God is somehow less present? What if Christ was on that beach on Sunday and I hadn’t noticed because I was trying so hard to redeem my own plans and ideals?
In God’s economy, death leads to life, foolishness is wisdom, and failing is the new winning!
Arohanui,
Jordan